Terrified to Trust

Every year, as the new year starts, I choose 1 word I want this new year to encompass. 1 word that I want my year to describe. 1 word I need to work on.

If you want to read about 2017's word, Fearless, click here.

As 2018 approaches, I'm praying about and thinking about what word I want that to be. I've been thinking about this for the past few weeks and God has started to make it very apparant that I needed to work on TRUST.

I really struggle with the idea of trust. I hate not being in control. I like to plan out my life and all the things going on in it. I like to know what to expect and how I am going to respond in all circumstances.

The idea of trusting God with my life and all my decision terrifies me. And that is exactly why I so desperately need to work on that.

I was looking through my prayer journal from earlier and I found this quote I had written, "God, I’m terrified to trust. I have no faith and I’m scared. I can’t do this on my own. Make me fearless. Make my faith be greater than my fear. Let your will be done in my life. Let me rock the world in Your name and make a difference for You."

I am terrified to place my life into God's hands. But when I think about it, I'm like WHY? God can see how my whole life is going to work out, and I can't. Why in the world, would I want to be in charge instead? The God of the universe could, and does control my future, and yet, me, lowly me, wants to control it instead. Why would I want that?

So, 2017, I am SO ready for you to be over. Being Fearless hasn't really happened. But I am SO ready for 2018. I am SO ready to trust in God. SO ready to be free from the stress and anxiety trying to control my own life brings.

So what word do you want your 2018 to hold? Leave it in the comments below... Elizabeth and I would love to encourage you in your journey!

#Trust #Fear #Joy #focus #NewYear