It's not body-shaming...
- Nov 1, 2017
- 3 min read
If you’ve ever scrolled through social media, you have probably seen some scantily-clad woman as an advertisement or just as a social media post. Sex sells. You see it everywhere. It’s popular and it sells.
On my facebook account, I am always seeing either some teenage girl or mom of a teenage girl, complaining about dress codes. Their thought is that we are body-shaming their teenage girls by asking them to meet a certain dress code or just the idea of dressing modestly. They are always complaining about how we are “body-shaming” girls… just by asking them to dress with any sense of decency.
Let me clarify, asking someone to dress modestly is not body-shaming. The official definition of body-shaming is, “the action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size.” Body-shaming is making rude and derogatory comments about someone’s body. Forcing people to cover their heads or never show any ankles is body-shaming. However, asking someone to dress with the thought of modesty in mind is not body-shaming.
The word modesty has gotten a bad reputation. When most people envision modesty, they think about a meek single girl, in their late twenties, who only wears long skirts, has long straight hair, no makeup, and a large voluminous shirt. That is not what modesty is; at least not in our current culture. That is not what we’re going for. Modesty in our culture is more about not wearing the shortest shorts, the tightest shirts, the shortest dresses, or shirts that show the most cleavage. That is what modesty is about. You can still look cute and feel attractive and yet still dress modestly.
We are not body-shaming our teenage girls by asking them not to let their butt cheeks hang out of their shorts or letting their whole stomachs show. This is just common sense. No parent wants their precious daughter to just be known for her epic body and skimpy clothes--her heart for Jesus, her intelligence, her kindness--yes--but not for her body.
This is not just an issue with the hearts of girls but also the hearts of their parents. Who usually buys clothing for their children? Who allows them to walk out of their house? Their parents do. Parents have to think about what is best for their children, teens and young adults. As parents, your role is to provide guidance to not let your daughters wear the skimpiest clothing.
And, it is your job not to complain about body-shaming! We are NOT body-shaming our teenage daughters. We are encouraging them to dress with higher standards than our culture naturally has. We are encouraging them to dress in a way that glorifies God. These are not rules that we should try to break or go out of our way to dress in a way that barely passes. That’s not the intent. That shows that your heart is not at all into dressing modestly in a way that glorifies God.
Now let me address a common excuse that comes up when encouraging girls to dress modestly: I can’t find anything that is long, fits well or is modest. That is completely FALSE. I am 6 feet tall, with extremely long legs and I can find things that are long. I can find dresses that come to my knees, and if not, I wear them with leggings. I can find clothing that is modest and glorifies God even with being extremely tall and thin. So if I can do it, I know you can too--you just have to want to.
So this week, go out of your way to dress in a way that glorifies God. And parents, go out of your way to encourage and inspire your daughters to dress that way!
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