Modesty Matters: Let's Talk about Sex
- Oct 25, 2017
- 4 min read
Modest is hottest, or at least that is what people are saying to encourage modesty because who doesn’t want to feel sexy or desired. Sorry to burst your bubble but let's be real modest is not hottest. What is considered hottest is showing off what you’ve got with as little fabric as possible. I’m so guilty of wanting to dress hottest and not modest. When I try on a dress that is a bit too short or a blouse that has a questionable neckline, I feel super attractive, and like I could conquer the world. When you dress hottest, you are dressing to draw the eyes to what sparks lustful desire. I’m going to talk about what the church doesn’t like to talk about, but the world loves... let's talk about sex. (sorry if you now have that song stuck in your head)
To start off, personal confession time, I have struggled with pornography, masturbation, sexual desire, and lust. I am a virgin and believe sex should be saved for marriage, but I can't ignore the struggle that comes with the command of "thou shalt not commit adultery." I value living in purity, yet I’m far from pure. I also recognize that sex is an unspoken topic in the church. Even without being told directly there is this awkward bubble and you feel like to even ask questions is a sin. Putting a harder weight on the shame felt and makes the sin harder to resist. We are told to not have sex before marriage often without being told why. When I’m told not to do something I get extremely curious as to why.
Sex is something the world practically screams at us from every direction, telling us to have it as soon as possible, as often as possible and with any person that crosses our path. Modestly matters because it is an underlying issue with the sin of sex. We fear to bring up the topic of sex or sins around the act because we’ve put this massive weight of shame on thinking about sex. When it’s becoming a social norm to have sex before marriage, and we are wired to be attracted to opposite sex, it should be something we recognize as a driving factor in our lives. Many songs, T.V. shows, and films encourage one night stands and casual sex, teen pregnancies are skyrocketing, and you can easily find sex scandals covering media. Modesty is a state of mind and is a weapon against sinful sex. When we think of modesty, we jump to thinking it is just about what we wear. Modesty is a way for us to remain pure in our thoughts, actions and in the way we dress. Modesty is an extension of purity and affects our minds more than it affects what we wear.
As Christians, we don’t fit into the mold of the world. The mold is easy to fall into, and as a church, we need to change how we approach modesty and how we talk about sex. There is no guidebook on what dressing modestly looks like. Some companies and organizations have dress codes, and you may have your idea of what that it looks like for you but just because someone breaks your idea of a dress code doesn’t mean they are sluts. There seems to be this line that is so easy to cross between dressing modestly and dressing slutty. Far too many of us look down on others for wearing something we don't think is appropriate.
Modesty matters because it is our personal heart issue. To be modest, it is important to find what drives you to be immodest. Don’t be afraid to talk about that, even if it is a struggle in the sexual realm. People may judge you and look down on you, but people can’t save you from your sin, only Christ can and when you lay your shame and sin at His feet all He has for you is love. The desire to be immodest in my mind and thoughts is a daily struggle. Sin doesn’t disappear, each of us struggles with something. You are human, and you sin daily. Don’t let the secret of your sins hold you captive. God is working, he uses us and loves us even though we sin. “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” is one of the ten commandments and it is more than just avoiding the action of having sex outside of wedlock. It involves your daily actions. It is resisting the desires to experience sex. It’s protecting your body and guarding your heart. It is understanding that you live in this world, but you can’t be of the world, and that is much easier said than done. The Old Testament church was instructed through Leviticus to stay pure through laws and sacrifices. As God’s people, we are called to stand out, to fit a different mold. The world screams at you from every avenue that sex is a regular and casual act, stand firm in what you believe. Your actions reflect the inward ways of your heart. Modesty matters because it is a state of mind that affects your heart.
“I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty. Therefore, since we have these promises, dear friends, let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates the body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.” ~ 2 Corinthians 6:18 & 7:1
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